Broken Pieces (Leaving You, Finding Them Book 1) Page 13

  “Well like you said, he’s thirteen now which means he has a voice to say his own opinion. We all know you don’t have a squeaky clean past either there, Baby.”

  “Don’t call me that. And you just try it, you’ll never take him from me, and I don’t have to listen to this.” He isn’t really going to try anyway, he’s just trying to get to me. “Unless something comes up with Miklo and he can’t call me himself then don’t call me back at all. I can’t say enough how done with this, with you, I am. It’s always been about you Dre, your too selfish.”

  He starts to curse at me through the phone when I hang up. I crumple on the couch, crying. It doesn’t take long for a text to come through on my phone, and I dread looking at it. I just want him to stop.

  Baby Daddy: You can be such a bitch Mia. See you in court.

  That’s it, no song or video to go with. He probably couldn’t find one hateful enough. I also quickly switch his name in my phone back to just Dre, not wanting any emotionally attaching name to be connected to him any longer. He’s starting to make it easier to purge him from my life in any way I can.

  I know there is nothing behind his threats, but I still cry harder. There is nothing in the world worse that I could think of than someone taking my baby boy away from me. A few minutes later, I get another text, this one thankfully not from Dre.

  Bubbs: Hey mom, I just got a weird text from dad telling me to tell you I said I wanted to stay here. Don’t know what that’s about but I never said it.

  I’m not a person to bring him into our arguments, but his dad apparently holds no such restraint, and I quickly texted him back.

  Me: Everything’s okay Bubbs, I love you and will see you on Saturday. Miss you!

  Bubbs: Love and miss you too Mamacita.

  I love when he calls me that, it always makes me laugh, and he now does it when he knows I need cheering up. I wish he didn’t know or see so much. I just want him to be happy.

  I stand from the couch and go back to grab the mop, still crying, but I know I need to finish, I feel minutes away from a meltdown. It only takes a few minutes to complete, and then I started searching the cupboards for something to eat. I’m not really hungry having had a sandwich before I began cleaning but still trying to keep myself busy. When I dismiss everything and get to my third cupboard, I spot a bottle of strawberry-flavored Cloud 9 vodka. One of my friends back in Arizona created the brand, and he had given me a bottle as a going-away present. Perfect. I needed a little love from AZ.

  After taking a shot, I decided to mix it with some ice and pineapple flavored soda to keep me from getting sloshed and bring it back into my room. I choose to take a quick shower having sweat through my afternoon cleaning and because tears are sometimes best had in the shower where they immediately wash away. When I get out, I almost expect to see Cade in my bed since it’s now past eight and became dark a couple of hours ago. But he’s not there, and my mood drops a little further. I wonder what he had to go help his mother with? I hope he makes it back, I’ve gotten so used to him being there in my bed. I’ve never slept better than I have the past few nights with him or last night with the others. Someone holding me close. It almost scares me how comfortable I have gotten with all of them in a short time. The thing is though… It almost feels like they need, or at least want me too? They make me feel so different than Dre ever really has. I was never enough for Dre.

  Now if only I could get even closer to Cade. He’s driving me crazy. Sleeping with me half-naked, keeping me close, sweet kisses over my body and lips. But other than yesterday morning he never lets himself get too close. Me? I want to get as close as I can get. Feel him over me… inside me. I shake my head, my thoughts getting away from me. Instead of pulling a t-shirt or other pajamas out of my drawers, I go to my closet. Pulling on a sheer, silk, black teddy I had hidden in the back over my bare body, I get into bed and turn Netflix on. Deciding on the new season of Wentworth, I grab my drink and sip on it as I watch.

  When I finish my drink, I decide one more can’t hurt and get up to refill my glass, slipping on a robe. When I have a full glass again, I hear some noise outback and go to investigate. Shutting the arcadia door, I looked up into one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. There are so many stars here, and the sky is so bright clear I can see all of them. Hearing the noise again, I turn to the left and see a pair of raccoons getting into the trash off to the side of the yard. Dang Trash Pandas. But they’re too cute, and I can’t even scare them away.

  “Alright guys, you can feast tonight, but then I’m going to find a way to lock those lids down tight.” Awe I should leave some cat food out for them! Feeling the crisp air chill, I turn and go back inside, locking the arcadia.

  Turning all the lights off behind me, I headed back to my room that is already dark, only illuminated by the light from the tv. Just as I pass beyond the door, a hand grabs out, pulling me hard against an equally hard chest, and some of my drink spills over the top. This feels different than when Roman was playing with me earlier. The hand around my wrist is tight, and I instantly get scared. Just as I’m about to scream my attacker's other hand goes over my mouth and he leans down to whisper against my ear, his breath hot against my neck.

  “Don’t scream.” I know this voice, and my body begins to relax a little, the deep timber of it sending goosebumps across my flesh. He lets go of my mouth and slides his hand down around my neck and gently applies pressure. My body tenses again, but this time in half fear, half arousal. I don’t know what to do, Cade has never acted this way with me before. “Why wasn’t the door locked, Baby Girl? Anyone could have come in.” He sounds so angry, and I’m at a loss as to why.

  “I’m sorry, I must have forgotten to lock it back up after Roman returned the spare earlier. I was cleaning.” His hand is still around my throat, so my words came out whispered.

  “Always lock the door Baby Girl, always. You never know who might try to come in.” A wave apprehension goes through me, not because of Cade himself, but the words he’s said. He sounds so serious. Dropping his hand, he turns me around toward him, and I don’t see the anger in his eyes, I thought I heard in his voice, but instead, it looks like fear. Fear for me? “I feel like putting you over my knee and spanking you, I want to punish you so bad for not locking the door.” Whoa! That actually sounds like it could be fun. Even though his words are harsh and I don’t understand why he is so worked up about me forgetting to lock the door, they send shockwaves to my core.

  “Really I’m sorry, I won’t forget to lock it again, I always lock the door.” Looking up into his eyes, I see a little pain in with the fear. “What’s wrong? What happened Cade? You’re pale, and you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  He walks to the end of the bed, sitting while placing his elbows on top of his knees and those large hands pulling in his hair. “When I came in and couldn’t find you, I thought you were gone, I thought they took you too.” I almost didn’t hear him with his head lowered, but I did. Took me? And too?

  Placing my drink down on the nightstand, I go to the end of the bed sitting next to him and placing my hand on his back. I rub in soothing circles. “It’s okay, I’m here. Who took who Cade?”

  Leaning back up, he takes my free hand in both of his like he just needs to be holding me, touching me and feeling me here. “I… I don’t know if I can.” Looking over at me, he must see my puffy eyes and face, the evidence that I had been crying earlier because his next words come out with anger again. “What’s wrong? Why have you been crying?”

  Just him asking why I’ve been crying makes my eyes well up once more, and I blink trying to keep the tears back. “It’s nothing, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  “Guess we both have our demons, huh?” He murmurs and then seems to come to a conclusion or decision, “What about you, Mia? What made you move here? We can all tell your running from something, Baby Girl.” I like the way he referred to them as our demons. I get a picture in my head of Dre with de
vil horns, and it seems rather fitting.

  Maybe I should tell him? Get it all out in the open. I mean I’m really starting to like these guys, yes not just one, but all of them. I don’t understand the attraction they seem to all have for me as well, I’m nothing special, but these guys are helping me, even if they don’t even know it. He’s not looking at me, just at my small hand in his bigger ones, and my heart goes out to him. I can feel he’s in pain too, I just don’t know why and I want to help. If telling my story helps him explain his and release some of that pain, then I’d gladly do it.

  With a sigh, I make my decision. I tell him everything. Starting with when Andreas and I first met, to having Miklo, and everything that came after. All of the good and the bad. The love and heartache, to my eventual downfall when I hit rock bottom. Cade just listens silently, brushing tears from my cheeks when they fall. I end my story with one of my biggest fears. “So I had to leave, I wasn’t strong enough to be close to him and get myself out of it. He has always been able to pull me back in. And the thing that scares me the most... is that even with how toxic the relationship was, even with all he’s said and done, I’m afraid all it will take is him actually trying. Him actually putting an effort in, coming up here and confessing his love or something stupid. I’m afraid that I would cave and go back to him. I still love him, Cade. I know in some ways I always will, but I hate him too. I hate him for never being there when I actually needed him, for not being there while Miklo has been growing up. Everything was always Dre’s time, or for Dre. I can’t go back. It’s time for Miklo and me. It’s time for someone to want us around because they want us and we are enough for them. Not when it’s convenient for them.” Cade has a murderous look on his face. Like if he ever saw Dre in person, he’d be sure to kick his ass. I’d actually love to see that.

  I think it was at that moment I realized the truth of the situation. I did love Dre. I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him. There was too much toxicity to our relationship. There was too much resentment. To much pain. The reality of that felt soothing and like I had more control over the situation than I realized.

  Reaching an arm around me Cade pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around my waist, placing my head on his chest as I continue to cry. “Oh, Baby Girl. You are amazing, smart, beautiful, have a really cool kid who loves you. You. Are. More. Than. Enough. And he’s a jackass to not know what he had and has now lost.” My heart swells, his words are everything I’ve longed to hear for so long.

  I kiss his cheek and then snuggle back into his chest. “Thank you, I don’t even know what to say.”

  Shaking his head and gritting his teeth, he gets out. “I am still mad at you, though for the door. I just about tore the place apart when I couldn’t find you.” A muscle in my ass twitches at the thought of him actually turning me over his knee and spanking me.

  “What made you so scared? Who has been taken?” I need to know. I need to know all I can about him. I need to understand why he has so much pain in his eyes and why he doesn’t like to sleep alone. I want to take his pain away, or at least numb it for him like he does for mine.

  Resting his chin atop my head, I feel him take a big breath, and I take one in as well waiting for him to tell me something, anything. “So I didn’t completely tell you the truth when I said I needed to go help my mom. I mean I did go over and see her, helped her out with a few things around the house and took her to run a few errands. But I really went to Seattle for a memorial of sorts.”

  “A memorial? I’m so sorry who…” He presses a finger to my lips to stop my questions.

  “Shh, Baby Girl, let me tell you.” removing his finger, he places a chaste kiss in their spot and continues. “I was with someone for five years. Her name was Nichoal Ferris, and we were in love. We met at a bike rally, her there with her boyfriend at the time Chaz. I was there promoting my new shop, I had just gotten it all started up a few months before. She had come over and started talking to me, slipping me her number before getting on her dick boyfriend's bike and riding off. I called her the next day, and we went out. From that day on, we were always together, either she stayed at my place or I at hers. Yet, even after five years, we never did move in together. But also, after five years, I felt like it was time to take the next step. On October 18th, 2016, I asked her to marry me. We were at the bike shop, and I had set up candles and these little twinkle lights she always said she loved. I even laid rose petals everywhere. I thought it was perfect, the bikes around us, reminding us of how we met.”

  His bright green eyes darkened, and he looks so sad and broken, maybe as broken as I feel. I want to help put him back together. I want to see him smile. “She said no, that she wasn’t ready. We had a big fight, and she stormed off. I went back home, It was the first night we hadn’t slept in the same bed since we first started going out. I hated it. The next morning, October 19th, I went over to her apartment to smooth things over. The door was unlocked and slightly open. I went in, and she was nowhere to be found. No signs of a struggle, nothing missing, her purse and everything on the counter. There wasn’t any cash in her wallet, but all the cards were there.”

  Thinking about the date, I can’t help but interrupt, gaining a small glare from Cade. “Wait, today is October 19th.”

  “Yes, three years ago today, Nichoal disappeared without a trace. There was no evidence to be found, and the cops decided to label her a runaway since there were no signs of foul play. But why would she just leave? Where would she go? And she would have left everything behind, nothing was taken, her car was parked in it’s assigned space. I can’t figure it out. Ever since that day I have trouble sleeping alone, and even though I’ve slept with girls since Nichoal, they were always one night stands, and I either left their place or kicked them out of mine. I still hate sleeping alone, though, afraid of who’ll be missing when I wake up. I started sleeping with my door open or on the couch, so I could wake up if I heard anything. I became scared I’d wake up, and one of my brothers would be gone too.”

  My heart is breaking for him. I feel his pain even though it is different from my own. I don’t like to sleep alone, because I hate being alone. For years I’ve been surrounded by family and friends who love me but still I was left feeling so lonely at the same time. My bed empty because my heart belonged to someone who was lying in another woman’s bed. I almost hate myself for that… but I don’t. You have no control over who you fall in love with. Love is a force that can knock you over and tether you to another person's soul whether you want to or not.

  He continues on, his hands now playing with the knotted bow I have tied around my waist, keeping my robe closed. “You’re the first woman I’ve slept in the same bed with since she disappeared. I don’t know what it is about you, but the first time I saw you it was like you had a rope and were pulling me in. For the past two and a half months since you arrived, I’ve been fighting like hell against that pull. You were making me feel again, and I didn’t want to. I don’t feel I have the right to want someone as much as I do you when I don’t even know if she’s alive or not.”

  I don’t say it, but I feel the same way, although I feel like I’m being pulled by four ropes instead of one. The difference is, I decided not to fight the pull, the way these guys make me feel so wanted… I’ve never felt this much affection before, and I want more of it. I want them to wrap those ropes around me, attaching each of them to me, too tight to ever let me go.

  “But yeah, for the past two years since she disappeared I always get together with her family. We hung out for most of the day at her parent's house, talking about her, remembering her. I fucking hate this day.”

  He’s managed to untie the knot of my robe, and warmth goes through my body. I want this gorgeous broken man. I want to replace his memories of this day, with new ones. Good ones. I stand up and let my robe fall from my shoulders and pool on the carpet at my feet.

  His eyes widen as he looks over me from head to toe. My sheer black teddy, reveals m
y hardened nipples underneath, and reaches just as the curve of my ass ends, two cheeks peeking from the bottom. He reaches out and runs each hand up my thighs and swoops around the back to run them over those peeking cheeks. “Did you wear this for me?” He says with a smile. Yes! He smiled! Fuck if it doesn’t make him even more gorgeous. Those dimples!

  Smiling, I suddenly feel a little shy. “Ye-yes.” He smiles at me again, and I almost melt into a puddle on the floor, mixing with my discarded robe. I feel my confidence return. I want this man, and I’m gonna have to turn it up if I’m going to get him to crack his steel no sex rule he seems to silently have applied to us. “Do you like it?” I step closer, his hands now firmly squeezing each of my ass cheeks. Then all of a sudden, I feel a hard slap to my left cheek. Ouch! As much as it stings, it also sends lighting strikes of pleasure to my pussy, and I feel the wetness start to build up below.

  “That was for not locking the door. Always lock the damn door, Baby Girl, or there will be a lot more spankings for you in the future.” His words and promises send arousal through my whole body. I wouldn’t mind the spankings, although it’ll never come from not locking the door. Knowing how and why he feels about it, I will always remember to lock the door.

  As he continues to caress up my body, his hands traveling further up my teddy, I look down and can see his hard-on in his dark denim jeans. His cock straining against the zipper. I want to release it from it’s confinement. Licking my lips I kneel on the floor between his legs, taking the zipper of his jeans and pulling it down. Grabbing his jeans and boxers together at each hip, I look up at him with a question in my eyes. While biting his sexy bottom lip, that I want to bite too, he lifts his hips, allowing me to pull his pants and boxers over his toned ass and down. He doesn’t have shoes on, must have left them by the front door like I do, so I have them completely off him in no time, His cock springing free and up, hard against his abs. I know we did the whole handjob thing yesterday, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen him. He’s enormous, and hard, the veins popping out along his shaft and his head purple in strain. I see a bead of pre-come leak from his tip, and I can’t help but lick my lips again.